Tips for Singles -- Making New Friends -- Remembering Names

Remembering people's names is really important in business as well as in one's every day social life. I've always been rather bad at remembering names, in the past, but now I've noticed a real improvement thanks to Don Gabor and his book, "How to Start a Conversation and Make Friends."

Don Gabor's book has lots of useful tips on how to Start a Conversation and Make Friends; for example, he discusses:

Body Language
Breaking the Ice
Five Seconds to Success: the Art of Remembering Names
How to Continue a Conversation with Wit and Charm
How to End a Conversation with a Great Impression
How to Take Your Conversation to the Next Level.

In this article I'll summarize his tips on how to remember names and add some tips of my own.

Focus. Don explains that the main reason we fail to remember names is that we simply fail to focus on the other's name when we are first introduced. Sometimes I'm too busy worrying about what I am going to do or say next instead of focusing. Don says we have only five seconds to grasp a person's name and he says that we should use the first second to focus on the moment and stop thinking about ourselves.

Listen. In second number 2, Don recommend that we really listen for the person's name. Again, he recommends that we do not think about what we will do or say next, but just listen to the other person's name. This alone will help us remember a lot more names, but there is more to his method.

Repeat. In second number 3, it is helpful to repeat the other person's name aloud. This will help ensure that we get the name right; it will also help us get another opportunity to hear the name. (Repetition helps!) You might simply say, "Nice to meet you, _________(person's name). If you didn't near the name, it's nice to say, "I'm sorry I didn't quite catch your name."

Think. In the 4th second, think of someone else you know who has the same name. This gets your mind actively mulling over the name and helps to sink it into your memory making connections with what is already stored in memory. If you have never heard the name before, that's a chance to repeat the name again and say something like this: "What a wonderful and unusual name. I've never met anyone with a name like that!"

Depending on your feeling you might replace "wonderful" with "beautiful," or "interesting," or perhaps "distinctive." Use. In the 5th second, use the other person's name during the conversation and especially at the end of the conversation. Saying something that shows you were listening to the other person helps a lot, too.

For example, "Maria, it was great hearing about the Building Self-Esteem class you are teaching at the hospital. That's something we could all use."

That's it in a nutshell: Focus, Listen, Repeat, Think, Use. To learn more you might want to get Don Gabor's Book: How to Start a Conversation and Make Friends. Don is also available for private coaching. Call 925-888-4392 for more information. Hope you've enjoyed this article.

To your success.
Warmest regards,
Phil Seyer

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